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Thank you again to all those that responded. I agree with many that my buddies biggest concern isn't fishing right now. Unless he reaches out, I'm going to let things cool down before I ask him if he wants to talk about anything.

In the mean time I'll be trying to plan my outings a little further in advance to allow time for others that may want to join. I think it's also time I start to work on my solo salmon game.
Not knowing what the real issues are... cooling off is a good idea but I wouldn't wait too long to let him know you care about his wellbeing. Leave the fishing out of it. Can be hard to tell how bad someone is hurting, if that's the case.

Not trying to tell you what to do. Just something I wished I'd have done in the past before it was too late.
 

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Discussion Starter · #83 ·
Not knowing what the real issues are... cooling off is a good idea but I wouldn't wait too long to let him know you care about his wellbeing. Leave the fishing out of it. Can be hard to tell how bad someone is hurting, if that's the case.

Not trying to tell you what to do. Just something I wished I'd have done in the past before it was too late.
Thank you sureshot, and you're not coming off as telling me what to do at all. You are offering sound advice, and I appreciate it. I was going to give him a week or so before I reach out, and fishing will definitely not be part of that conversation.
 

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I tell them I’m going, and most likely, where. If early am weather or forecasts change that, I’ll text where I ended up.

I love it when I can get out. I like it with friends, strangers, alone whatever…. I don’t ice fish, or boat fish except in desperation. That’s usually six months of fishing and six months of dreaming. We can play cards, drink, etc on dream time….
 

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I shortly after high school we (a group of friends) lost a friend. In part because we didn't really realize or recognize what he was going through mentally. Always wished I could go back.
You can't fix everyone, and you can't go back.
It was the right outcome.
 

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I doubt it. He is 6 ft under.
It was meant to be. Some things just are.
Don't second guess yourself. I'm inferring from your response what happened. What could you have done? After these things happen, all that is left is second guessing and woulda shoulda.
Just trying to be helpful.
 

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It was meant to be. Some things just are.
Don't second guess yourself. I'm inferring from your response what happened. What could you have done? After these things happen, all that is left is second guessing and woulda shoulda.
Just trying to be helpful.
I know you were. I'm not stricken by guilt or anything. It's just that looking back there were signs and I didn't recognize it. Was a really good person. Hindsight...

Anyway, don't want to go any further with my "depressing" story. I just make it a point to reach out to people when I feel something is a bit off now. Maybe that's the silver lining in it all.
 

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I know you were. I'm not stricken by guilt or anything. It's just that looking back there were signs and I didn't recognize it. Was a really good person. Hindsight...

Anyway, don't want to go any further with my "depressing" story. I just make it a point to reach out to people when I feel something is a bit off now. Maybe that's the silver lining in it all.
I didn't think it was depressing. Mentally struggling people are all around, in our families, etc.
It was something that happened. You experienced it, pondered it, and now use the knowlege.
Troubled folks will find a way, no matter the intervention.
 

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Thank you sureshot, and you're not coming off as telling me what to do at all. You are offering sound advice, and I appreciate it. I was going to give him a week or so before I reach out, and fishing will definitely not be part of that conversation.
So just to be nosey (sorry), outside of fishing, what do you do together? What is the connection? Work buddies? Grew up together? Both members of The Royal Order of Water Buffalos?

I'm thinking if the only thing you really do together is fish, it's Roy Rogers Time. Happy Trails. Sorry to pry, just curious.
 

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I know you were. I'm not stricken by guilt or anything. It's just that looking back there were signs and I didn't recognize it. Was a really good person. Hindsight...

Anyway, don't want to go any further with my "depressing" story. I just make it a point to reach out to people when I feel something is a bit off now. Maybe that's the silver lining in it all.
When we are younger sometimes we really don’t see the seriousness of something. Kinda blow it off and say to ourselves that they will be ok. As you get older you see things a little deeper and clearer.
 

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Discussion Starter · #93 ·
So just to be nosey (sorry), outside of fishing, what do you do together? What is the connection? Work buddies? Grew up together? Both members of The Royal Order of Water Buffalos?

I'm thinking if the only thing you really do together is fish, it's Roy Rogers Time. Happy Trails. Sorry to pry, just curious.
College buddy of mine. We hang out, he spends some holidays with my wife and I when he can't make it home, help each other with projects around our homes. He's not one to talk about personal stuff willingly.
 

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So this is probably going to be more of a rant than anything, but I'm curious how everyone deals with a friend who is constantly late for fishing?

I have a buddy, known him since college (15+ years). Super nice guy, loves the outdoors, but is always late for whatever time he tells me he can meet up. Not like 5 minutes late, but 30 minutes to an hour. Problem being, he's usually the only guy I can get to go with only a days notice. I'd love to go without him when he's late, but not really an option. I usually even tell him to meet me a half hour earlier than I need him somewhere, but I think he's caught on.

Curious how everyone else deals with a good friend that does this.
I don't have partners that are always late! They are called x-partners. I am a very punctual person and value my time. If my friends or partners do not value my time it is time to move on. I am very upfront, be on time or the boat leaves, if you are always asking what time we are coming in you may also be an x-partner. Fishing is my release from all everything else going on in this crazy world and from the stress of life. I refuse to let anyone take away from that.
 

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I want to thank the OP for starting this thread....it's made me do a lot of thinking with regards to my behavior, especially when it comes to fishing with my father.

My brother and I are constantly arriving to the dock 15-30 minutes after the boat was supposed to depart. I can give a million excuses/justifications as to why we're late, but in the end I know it really comes down to poor planning.

He never has complained, never left without us...I know he's just genuinely happy to be fishing with us...but this has really put into perspective just how disrespectful I've been.

Thank you
 

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If you are chronically late I'll take it as "eff you, my time is more important than yours".

Late to your meeting, no text, I'm gone.
Make me wait for a job interview, you're going to explain why. That's me interviewing for a job. If that s how you run things, I'm not dealing with it.
I've left for parties and dinners and such without my wife. If she dies first her corpse will be late to her funeral as a matter of habit.

It comes down to respect. Stuff happens, but a text takes what, ten seconds?

Member here got a ticket making sure he was on time. I appreciated that. Still was about thirty seconds from backing off the dock.

We won't even talk about working in Mexico...
 
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