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Rules For My Son(s)

Discussion in 'Sound Off (MichiganForums.com)' started by jimp, Sep 13, 2017.

  1. jimp

    jimp Hunter gatherer Premium Member

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    Rules For My Son(s)
    1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.
    2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain’t one.
    3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.
    4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.
    5. Act like you’ve been there before. Especially in the end zone.
    6. Request the late check-out.
    7. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.
    8. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.
    9. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.
    10. Don’t fill up on bread.
    11. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look him in the eye.
    12. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.
    13. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.
    14. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her.
    15. You marry the girl, you marry her whole family.
    16. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.
    17. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.
    18. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.
    19. Never turn down a breath mint.
    20. In a game of HORSE, sometimes a simple free throw will get ’em.
    21. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.
    22. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.
    23. Thank a veteran. And then make it up to him.
    24. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.
    25. Eat lunch with the new kid.
    26. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.
    27. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.
    28. See it on the big screen.
    29. Give credit. Take the blame.
    30. Write down your dreams
     
  2. Creek-Chub

    Creek-Chub

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    And here I thought email forwards had died. Silly me.
     
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  3. jimp

    jimp Hunter gatherer Premium Member

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    Nope, FB post from a friend :)
     
  4. augustus0603

    augustus0603

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    31. Never create a Facebook Account
     
  5. pescadero

    pescadero

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    "14. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for her."

    Don't use handerkerchiefs... they're nasty collections of snot. We invented disposable tissues for a reason.
     
    PerchPatrol and Sasquatch Lives like this.
  6. capper

    capper

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    Disposable tissues are useless for nose blowing (though they do have many other uses) Ive never found a tissue that would hold together when I blow my nose - just blows through and get a hand full of snot - no thanks! I have always carried the old fashioned blue farmers handkerchiefs.
     
    PWood likes this.
  7. pescadero

    pescadero

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    I just use paper towel.
     
  8. Rasputin

    Rasputin Premium Member

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    I always carry one. If I use paper, I through it away, then I have none. The key is to not share your hanckey. Not only that, but based on tips from that sharted thread, it might save a sock some day.
     
  9. Sasquatch Lives

    Sasquatch Lives

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    Words to live by. If I may add a couple.
    32. Even if you are worried or nervous, never let it show (especially to your kids).
    33. Never give your wife a reason to become jealous.
     
  10. Far Beyond Driven

    Far Beyond Driven

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    Never go to bed angry.

    Over tip good waitresses or anyone providing exceptional service.

    Happiness may not be around the corner, it may be the corner.

    Be willing to say no (missed way too many things in life being the yes man at work and never got compensated enough for it, now having a baby at 40 her first day of school trumps your meeting)

    You are a function of your experience. You will regret the things you didn't do way more than the ones you did.

    You should never have to look over your shoulder.

    Your actions affect my reputation, which I've spent a life time cultivating.

    Hold doors for people. Say please and thank you.

    You can call me any time, for any issue. I'd rather drive you home disappointed that I d you in the morgue.

    Respect alcohol, cars, power tools, and medicine. But don't be scared of them either.

    You cannot read enough. Learning never stops. There's no excuse for ignorance.

    Be self reliant. Carry tools, a tow strap, and jumper cables and know how to use them.

    Buy dinner for someone in uniform or a young couple.

    Cut flowers from the road side and bring them to someone who doesn't get out much.

    Good mechanics, fishing buddies, and dentists are priceless.

    Don't walk behind a horse. In fact, stay as far away from them as possible.

    Clowns hide who they are for a reason.
     
    Last edited: Sep 14, 2017
  11. Sasquatch Lives

    Sasquatch Lives

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    Always stand when meeting a woman. One time at a wedding someone was introducing their grandmother to our table and I stood up to shake her hand and all the other guys remained seated. She smiled at me and said "at least there is one gentleman at this table!" Was dating my wife at the time and that one earned me a lot of brownie points with her haha.
     
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  12. bobberbill

    bobberbill

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    Only 3 rules for my kids and all their friends:
    1: Don't steal anything
    2: Don't puke in the house
    3: Don't piss mom off

    They're all adults now, but still on occasion, mention the rules.
     
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  13. capper

    capper

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    They don't need a reason - they are born jealous!
     
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  14. capper

    capper

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    Don't make unnecessary enemies!

    Always be polite!
     
  15. deepwoods

    deepwoods Premium Member

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    Always say goodbye to your loved ones like it is the last time. Sadly one day it will be.