you have two cows!

[POLARBEAR]

DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.

You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people

into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you

to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people

you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and

give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. Barbara

Streisand sings for you.



SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one

and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative

to tell him how to manage his cow.





REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none.

So?



COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes

both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for

hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.



CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You

sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.



DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The

government taxes you to the point you have to sell

both to support a man in a foreign country who has

only one cow, which was a gift from your government.



BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The

government takes them both, shoots one, milks the

other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk

down the drain.



AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one,

lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd

one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of

four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead.

You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you

have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock

goes up.



FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on

strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch.

Life is good.



JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign

them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow

and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to

travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the

top of their class at cow school.



GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You engineer

them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give

excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an

hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of

vacation per year.



ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't

know where they are. While ambling around, you see a

beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.



RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them

and learn you have five cows. You have some more

vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42

cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of

vodka. You produce your 10th, 5-year plan in the last

3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however

many cows you really have.



TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have all the cows in

Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them

because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.

At night when no one is looking you kill them and

claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the

hospital.



FLORIDA CORPORATION: You have a black cow and a brown

cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of

the people who like the brown one best, vote for the

black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote

for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote

at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state

tell you which is the best-looking one.



NEW YORK CORPORATION: You have fifteen million cows.

You have to choose which one will be the leader of the

herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.

[michiduck]

thats gotta be one of my favorite funnies!!!


the republican one is great! makes me laugh every time!

[Robert W. McCoy Jr]

Holy cow that was funny
LOL

[sleepysalmon]

AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one,

lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd

one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of

four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead.

You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you

have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock

goes up.

SO TRUE.

Funny as hell