A small hick town in michigan had to cancel their nativity scene for Christmas this year, they couldn't find three wisemen or a virgin!
How do you circumsize a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw!
A good looking brunette walked up to the rivers edge. She yelled across to the blond "Hey, how do I get to the other side?" The blond looked at her kind of funny and said "duh, you are on the other side"
Two aliens landed in a small town. The first one walked up to a gas pump and said "take us to your leader". The gas pump just sat there not responding. The second alien said "let's find someone else to talk to". "No way" replied the first alien "this guy's gonna talk to us or else." "Man don't mess with this guy" said the second alien. At that the first alien pulled his laser pistol and shot the gas pump. After the two aliens landed about a mile away all charred up and still smoking the first alien asked "How did you know something like that was gonna happen?" The second alien said "Man, anyone that can wrap his d--k around his waist twice and still stick it in his ear has got to be a bad-ass!
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