Liberals -v- Conservatives

[Getaway]

The Difference Between The Liberal and Conservative "Debate" Over The War on Terrorism.


Question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities.

In your hand is a .357 Magnum and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Liberal Answer:

Well that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.



Conservative Answer:

BANG!

[Big Frank 25]

This guy went to the zoo one day. While he was standing in front of the gorilla's enclosure, the wind gusted and he got some grit in his eye. As he pulled his eyelid down to dislodge the particle, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless.

When the guy came to, the zookeeper was anxiously bending over him, and as soon as he was able to talk, he explained what had happened. The zookeeper nodded and explained that in 'gorilla language', pulling down your eyelid means "F**k you".

This didn't make the gorilla's victim feel any better and he vowed revenge.

The next day he purchased two large knives, two party hats, two party horns, and a large sausage. Putting the sausage in his pants, he hurried to the zoo and over to the gorilla's cage, into which he tossed a hat, a knife, and a party horn.

Knowing that the big apes were natural mimics, he put on a party hat. The gorilla looked at him, looked at the hat, and put it on. Next he picked up his horn and blew on it. The gorilla picked up his horn and did the same.

Then the man picked up his knife, whipped the sausage out of his pants, and sliced it neatly in two. The gorilla looked at the knife in his cage, looked down at his own pecker, and he.....












...pulled down his eyelid.

[LilyDuck]

hahahaha

[redneckdan]

Originally Posted by Getaway

The Difference Between The Liberal and Conservative "Debate" Over The War on Terrorism.




Conservative Answer:

BANG!

I do believe it goes more like this, "BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG", "CLick, SNAP (droping in a HKS and close cylinder) BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!

[EMoor]

Originally Posted by redneckdan

I do believe it goes more like this, "BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG", "CLick, SNAP (droping in a HKS and close cylinder) BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!

And then the daughter says, "Daddy, were those hollow points or full metal jacketed rounds?"

[redneckdan]

exactly!