Cletus and Clem make headlines!

[thousandcasts]

This is hilarious! On my best day, I couldn’t come up with anything this funny…the only thing I changed were the names of the people involved.


From the Arkansas Democrat Gazette:

Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup
Truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on
State Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff County deputy
Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight
Monday. Cletus Johnson, 33, of Des Arc and Clem
Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in serious condition at
Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were
returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip.
On an overcast Sunday night, Cletus's pick-up truck headlights
malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the
older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not
available, Clem noticed that the 22-caliber bullet from
his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the
steering wheel column. After inserting the bullet, the headlights again
began to operate properly and the two men proceeded toward the
White River Bridge.
After traveling about 20 miles and Just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Cletus in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply right exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Cletus suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Clem sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and
released.

"Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Cletus shot
his balls off or we might both be dead" stated Clem.

"I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the
world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those
two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder.

Upon being notified of the wreck, ********, Cletus’s wife,
asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get
them from the truck. (Way to go, ********.)

[ybone]

LMAO

[Steely-Head]

Ahhhhh Cletus.....won't you ever learn??

[mich buckmaster]

That is definately a good one!!!!!!

[Gone Fishing]

I know Cletus is a tough nut to crack but that method works every time! Thanks for the laugh!

[flannelfish]

Glad them there boys are ok. What would life be without the the adventures. I"ll bet they like o et their nuts off. Steve by the way any new chapters for the new baby yet? Dave

[DonP]

That is a good one!!

Cletus

<--- Clem

[Loomis]

LOL

[fatboy]

what an idiot ! he put da bullet in backwards !

[thousandcasts]

Dave,

Kind of...sort of...well, I've got it outlined at least. Not sure where it's going to go, yet...but I've got some ideas of how I'm going to attack it.

There is a chapter entitled "Beauty and the Beef" which deals with the moronic Beef falling in love with a high society, church going and intellectual debutante (that he meets online) and the transformation he painfully undergoes during the best fall steelhead run in years...

Someday soon, I'll reveal what the title of the second book is!

[DaveW731]

You should consider submitting this for a Darwin award Honorable mention, since it MAY still be the case that Cletus has been removed from the gene pool, even though it was not a fatal wound

[Joe_G]

[twodogsphil]

TC, are the last three paragraphs from the newspaper article or did you add those hilarious comments?

[thousandcasts]

Those are quotes from the article! I didn't make any of that up--just cut 'n pasted and changed the names of those involved!

[tgafish]

Cletus said "The thing said 20 amp so I figgered .22 was close enough. Just didn't know that amp was short fer amputating my nut!"

Great Find TC!