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Comedy All jokes, cartoons, etc. go here! Must be a member for 30 days to post here.

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  #1  
Old 01-24-2003, 09:35 AM
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Finally good advice from the ANA

The American Medical Association researchers have
made a remarkable discovery.

It seems that some patients needing blood transfusions may
benefit from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood.

As it tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better!
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  #2  
Old 01-24-2003, 09:47 AM
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not bad polarbear
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  #3  
Old 01-24-2003, 10:52 AM
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Good one! here's a few more: Hopefully they are not too out of line. I apologize if they offend anyone.

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book about sexual statistics. It identifies that American Indians have the longest average love tool and Polish men have the biggest average diameter. By the way, my name is Jill. What's yours?" He coolly replies, "Tonto Kawalski, nice to meet you."

A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my private parts inside.
Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink." The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his privates unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try". A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle".

There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 Years." "Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say...should we get naked?" Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied,"My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!!!!
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Old 01-24-2003, 11:05 AM
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I liked the first two jokes GF. I saw the last one comming.

Regards,
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Old 01-24-2003, 11:07 AM
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Old 01-24-2003, 11:54 AM
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Funny stuff!!
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  #7  
Old 01-24-2003, 11:58 AM
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MS is full of comedians!! The hard part is remembering all of these to repeat later while sipping on suds!!

Thanks for the Friday laugh!

Scott
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Old 01-24-2003, 12:45 PM
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Wink Another joke

Here's one.... 2 70 year old ladies were in a hair salon talking about sex. The first lady tells the other about how they still have sex every night, the second lady can't believe they're still having sex, and asks how she does it? The first lady explains that every day just before her husband gets home she jumps on the bed, throws her legs up over her head, her husband walks in, and they have sex! The second lady can hardly wait to get home and give it a try. She makes it home, waits till she sees her husbands car pull in the drive and she runs to the bed, gets naked, and flips her legs over her head. Her husband gets the door open, walks in, takes a look at his wife and says" For Christ sake Marge, comb your hair and put your teeth in"LOL Can't remember the joke exactly, but it went something like that!
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Old 01-24-2003, 01:30 PM
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Gone Fishing how did you get my high school photo??? LOL

And funny jokes guys
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Old 01-24-2003, 01:40 PM
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Yea Tattoo Mike, a woman friend sent it too me and said not to complain about MY kid because it could always be worse. I think we can thank Tubejig for all these crazy avatars going around. Glad you liked the jokes.
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Old 01-24-2003, 07:10 PM
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GONE FISHING......What's up with that picture? It looks like somebody barfed on that persons head
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Old 03-20-2004, 02:44 PM
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