Whitetail Weekly, The Blooper Reel
Posted 08-23-2011 at 11:12 AM by Mightymouse
I could tell you that I am a great hunter and woodsman that rarely, if ever, makes a mistake or a blunder and that I had some trouble coming up with material for this entry but my mom taught me long ago that lying wasn’t nice. I have had at least a “few” mistakes occur while out hunting that I thought would be good reading for others so I decided to put together a little blooper reel of hunting stories.
They may not have seemed funny at the time but now I can easily look back and laugh. They say “If you laugh at yourself than who can you laugh at” and I have sure held up my end of that bargain over the years. Now hopefully you can laugh at me right along with me.
While memories like this are instant classics, some others take a bit longer to make their way into your good graces.
These first few will probably fall into the “been there done that” category for most of you so I know someone out there has shared my laughter and pain.
“The Stairmaster” – You’ve made the stealthy hike in to your stand and climbed up to your perch to get settled in for the hunt. Your safety harness is on and as soon as you get your gloves on you will be ready to……this is the point when you feel something start to slide out of your pocket. Before your mind can register what is happening one of (or maybe even both of) your gloves has started its 20ft journey back down to earth. You are undoing your safety harness before it even hits the ground as you get set to begin the hunter’s version of a stairmaster work out. If you are lucky it’s daylight and you can see where it landed, if you are unlucky (as I have been) it’s dark out and you have no idea where your camouflaged glove just landed. After a quick trip down and back up your steps you can finally start hunting, which is good because it’s always nice to sit down and rest after working out.
“The Rusty Nail” -- This happened to me on my grandparent’s property years ago and I’m sure it will happen to me again someday. I had a stand set up in a good area but not quite in the right spot so I decided to pull the stand down and move it about 40yds. I made this decision shortly after arriving for an afternoon hunt so the plan was to take it down quickly and quietly and move it then get set back up and enjoy the rest of the afternoon hunt. This is always a fun task in full hunting gear but I managed to get the stand down, as well as the steps, without making too much noise and was ready to make the move when I happened to glance back up the tree. There, sticking out the side of the tree like a rusty nail on a telephone pole, was my hook for hanging my bow. Thankfully my bow wasn’t up there with it but that fact only slightly lessened the sting of stupidity that quickly swept through my head. The battle raged in my head over what to do and in the end, well let’s just say that hook probably now more closely resembles a rusty nail than it did that day when I took the stand down.
These are a few of my personal tales that probably (or maybe I should say “hopefully”) won’t fall into the “been there done that” category for most of you. Trust me, I’m not trying to brag by saying that these are all my own but sometimes I do things that put me in a class by myself.
“The Smoke Stick” – I was sitting in a ground blind looking down a small hill when a group of does appeared at the bottom of the hill. Earlier in the sit I had hoped off of the milk crate I had been sitting on because I felt like I was too high in the air, now sitting on the ground I was nicely tucked in behind the cover of the blind and the deer had no idea I was there. I put the scope on a big doe in the group and as she stepped into the open I fired a shot. The deer scattered and took off running up the hill towards me. I stood up to try and pick out the deer I had shot but all the deer appeared to be running with no signs of being shot. As the deer disappeared I sat back down wondering if I had missed. I was right behind the shoulder with a good angle and the shot felt good. I couldn’t have missed, could I? As I looked down the hill to where they were standing something caught my eye. A small string of smoke was slowly rising from a stick on the top of the ground blind, a stick with a hole perfectly through the middle of it, a hole roughly the size of a bullet from a .356 caliber rifle. As it turns out my view through the scope was clear but the line of fire for the barrel was not, maybe that milk crate was in here for a reason after all. My bullet had barely traveled a foot before striking the branch and sailing off to places unknown. About the time I realized what had happened the two-way radio came to life. My dad said “I heard you shoot, what did you get”…………….well you see what had happened was…….
“Waving Goodbye” – It was a crisp early November morning and I was in one of the best stands on my uncle’s 80 acre farm. I had already seen a decent 8pt pass through out of range and was now watching a smaller 6pt approach the stand from my back left. He was enough of a buck for me and I was readying myself for a shot. I was in full predator mode as I slowly rose from my perch making sure it didn’t squeak or creak in the cold morning air. I slowly grabbed my bow as I watched the buck to make sure he didn’t become aware of my presence. As I quietly turned to get into position I looked down to clip my release to my bow and noticed that my finger flap for my gloves was laying over my fingers and I couldn’t see my release. Apparently that was to much of a distraction for my mind and my predator state instantly ceased as I apparently totally forgot about the buck below me. Instead of slowly moving the flap back out of the way I just shook my hand back and forth in the air as if I was waving at somebody. The buck instantly picked me off and bolted back into the cover from which he came. Leaving me waving good bye and wondering what the heck I was thinking, or not thinking I guess.
“Porky Punchout” – If you have been on Michigan Sportsman for a few years you may remember this story from a post I did about it back in 2009. I was late season hunting and when I got to my stand it became evident that a porcupine had been leasing the space for the last few weeks and wasn’t too happy about having to deal with me creeping in on his turf. When I was about 50yds from the stand I saw something moving up in the tree by the stand. My first thought was "somebody's hunting my stand!" but as I got closer I could see that it was actually a porkie making its way down the tree my stand is in. I got to the tree about the time he got to the ground and after puffing himself up to try and scare me off he moved about 4ft over and under a fallen pine. If you have ever encountered a porkie you know how quickly they move so I wasn't too concerned about him springing an attack on me. I hooked my bow to the lift rope and started up the tree as he watched from a few feet away in the safety of his fallen tree.
The hunt was slow and the porkie stayed put under the pine for about an hour. At one point I looked down and he was on the move, heading for my tree. I think "no way he will try to come up here knowing I am here" but I was very wrong. There is a small tree about 6 inches from the pine I am in and he heads over to it and starts heading up. He got about 6ft off the ground and I realized he was serious about coming up and hanging out with me.
I didn't quite know what to do at this point. I grabbed a water bottle out of my backpack, he's now about 10-12ft of the ground (my platform is about 18ft off the ground). I drop the bottle at him, hitting him right in the head thinking that he will get the message. He just looks up at me and keeps on coming!! I now grab my quiver (which has two arrows in it) and prepare to defend myself. He is now even with my waist (I'm standing on my stand) and the little tree he is on is getting pretty small. He starts reaching his paw over to my tree and I realize that this isn't going to work!! Time to defend my position!
I smack his paw with the arrows and the fight is on. He won't budge and keeps going for my tree. He reaches and I smack, two times, three times still nothing. I change up tactics and go for a body shot instead, he wobbles but doesn't back off. Now it’s time to get serious so the next shot is right to the face. In response he spins around and takes a few shots at my arrows with his tail, depositing about 10 quills into the fletchings. Aaargh, this is not going well!!! I throw a few more body shots and then I try a combo. I lead with a body shot and follow with my best attempt at a leg sweep. He finally starts to get unstable and one last, firm, body shot sends him on an 18ft belly flop into the snow below. Porkies must be like cats because despite doing a flip in mid air he still landed on his feet, leaving a great imprint in the snow. He headed over to a tree about 5ft away and spent the rest of the night watching me from eye level, but out of the reach of my arrows
Well, I’m sure I could go on and on with this but I think I’ll save a few for a later date and spare myself some of the agony of reliving my blunders.
In all honesty though, these are the types of memories that make hunting great. They are as prized to me as the memories of bucks being taken or hunts spent with family. They are the tales that are told and the laughs that are shared around the fire at deer camp. They are the learning experiences that shape you and show you that you are never as polished as you think you are. They are the reminders to us that we are only one step away from adding another blooper to the list.
Once you get past the initial pain of your next blunder, take the time to laugh at yourself and take solace in the fact that you just created another life long memory out in the woods.
Take care, and thanks for reading!!!
They may not have seemed funny at the time but now I can easily look back and laugh. They say “If you laugh at yourself than who can you laugh at” and I have sure held up my end of that bargain over the years. Now hopefully you can laugh at me right along with me.
While memories like this are instant classics, some others take a bit longer to make their way into your good graces.
These first few will probably fall into the “been there done that” category for most of you so I know someone out there has shared my laughter and pain.
“The Stairmaster” – You’ve made the stealthy hike in to your stand and climbed up to your perch to get settled in for the hunt. Your safety harness is on and as soon as you get your gloves on you will be ready to……this is the point when you feel something start to slide out of your pocket. Before your mind can register what is happening one of (or maybe even both of) your gloves has started its 20ft journey back down to earth. You are undoing your safety harness before it even hits the ground as you get set to begin the hunter’s version of a stairmaster work out. If you are lucky it’s daylight and you can see where it landed, if you are unlucky (as I have been) it’s dark out and you have no idea where your camouflaged glove just landed. After a quick trip down and back up your steps you can finally start hunting, which is good because it’s always nice to sit down and rest after working out.
“The Rusty Nail” -- This happened to me on my grandparent’s property years ago and I’m sure it will happen to me again someday. I had a stand set up in a good area but not quite in the right spot so I decided to pull the stand down and move it about 40yds. I made this decision shortly after arriving for an afternoon hunt so the plan was to take it down quickly and quietly and move it then get set back up and enjoy the rest of the afternoon hunt. This is always a fun task in full hunting gear but I managed to get the stand down, as well as the steps, without making too much noise and was ready to make the move when I happened to glance back up the tree. There, sticking out the side of the tree like a rusty nail on a telephone pole, was my hook for hanging my bow. Thankfully my bow wasn’t up there with it but that fact only slightly lessened the sting of stupidity that quickly swept through my head. The battle raged in my head over what to do and in the end, well let’s just say that hook probably now more closely resembles a rusty nail than it did that day when I took the stand down.
These are a few of my personal tales that probably (or maybe I should say “hopefully”) won’t fall into the “been there done that” category for most of you. Trust me, I’m not trying to brag by saying that these are all my own but sometimes I do things that put me in a class by myself.
“The Smoke Stick” – I was sitting in a ground blind looking down a small hill when a group of does appeared at the bottom of the hill. Earlier in the sit I had hoped off of the milk crate I had been sitting on because I felt like I was too high in the air, now sitting on the ground I was nicely tucked in behind the cover of the blind and the deer had no idea I was there. I put the scope on a big doe in the group and as she stepped into the open I fired a shot. The deer scattered and took off running up the hill towards me. I stood up to try and pick out the deer I had shot but all the deer appeared to be running with no signs of being shot. As the deer disappeared I sat back down wondering if I had missed. I was right behind the shoulder with a good angle and the shot felt good. I couldn’t have missed, could I? As I looked down the hill to where they were standing something caught my eye. A small string of smoke was slowly rising from a stick on the top of the ground blind, a stick with a hole perfectly through the middle of it, a hole roughly the size of a bullet from a .356 caliber rifle. As it turns out my view through the scope was clear but the line of fire for the barrel was not, maybe that milk crate was in here for a reason after all. My bullet had barely traveled a foot before striking the branch and sailing off to places unknown. About the time I realized what had happened the two-way radio came to life. My dad said “I heard you shoot, what did you get”…………….well you see what had happened was…….
“Waving Goodbye” – It was a crisp early November morning and I was in one of the best stands on my uncle’s 80 acre farm. I had already seen a decent 8pt pass through out of range and was now watching a smaller 6pt approach the stand from my back left. He was enough of a buck for me and I was readying myself for a shot. I was in full predator mode as I slowly rose from my perch making sure it didn’t squeak or creak in the cold morning air. I slowly grabbed my bow as I watched the buck to make sure he didn’t become aware of my presence. As I quietly turned to get into position I looked down to clip my release to my bow and noticed that my finger flap for my gloves was laying over my fingers and I couldn’t see my release. Apparently that was to much of a distraction for my mind and my predator state instantly ceased as I apparently totally forgot about the buck below me. Instead of slowly moving the flap back out of the way I just shook my hand back and forth in the air as if I was waving at somebody. The buck instantly picked me off and bolted back into the cover from which he came. Leaving me waving good bye and wondering what the heck I was thinking, or not thinking I guess.
“Porky Punchout” – If you have been on Michigan Sportsman for a few years you may remember this story from a post I did about it back in 2009. I was late season hunting and when I got to my stand it became evident that a porcupine had been leasing the space for the last few weeks and wasn’t too happy about having to deal with me creeping in on his turf. When I was about 50yds from the stand I saw something moving up in the tree by the stand. My first thought was "somebody's hunting my stand!" but as I got closer I could see that it was actually a porkie making its way down the tree my stand is in. I got to the tree about the time he got to the ground and after puffing himself up to try and scare me off he moved about 4ft over and under a fallen pine. If you have ever encountered a porkie you know how quickly they move so I wasn't too concerned about him springing an attack on me. I hooked my bow to the lift rope and started up the tree as he watched from a few feet away in the safety of his fallen tree.
The hunt was slow and the porkie stayed put under the pine for about an hour. At one point I looked down and he was on the move, heading for my tree. I think "no way he will try to come up here knowing I am here" but I was very wrong. There is a small tree about 6 inches from the pine I am in and he heads over to it and starts heading up. He got about 6ft off the ground and I realized he was serious about coming up and hanging out with me.
I didn't quite know what to do at this point. I grabbed a water bottle out of my backpack, he's now about 10-12ft of the ground (my platform is about 18ft off the ground). I drop the bottle at him, hitting him right in the head thinking that he will get the message. He just looks up at me and keeps on coming!! I now grab my quiver (which has two arrows in it) and prepare to defend myself. He is now even with my waist (I'm standing on my stand) and the little tree he is on is getting pretty small. He starts reaching his paw over to my tree and I realize that this isn't going to work!! Time to defend my position!
I smack his paw with the arrows and the fight is on. He won't budge and keeps going for my tree. He reaches and I smack, two times, three times still nothing. I change up tactics and go for a body shot instead, he wobbles but doesn't back off. Now it’s time to get serious so the next shot is right to the face. In response he spins around and takes a few shots at my arrows with his tail, depositing about 10 quills into the fletchings. Aaargh, this is not going well!!! I throw a few more body shots and then I try a combo. I lead with a body shot and follow with my best attempt at a leg sweep. He finally starts to get unstable and one last, firm, body shot sends him on an 18ft belly flop into the snow below. Porkies must be like cats because despite doing a flip in mid air he still landed on his feet, leaving a great imprint in the snow. He headed over to a tree about 5ft away and spent the rest of the night watching me from eye level, but out of the reach of my arrows
Well, I’m sure I could go on and on with this but I think I’ll save a few for a later date and spare myself some of the agony of reliving my blunders.
In all honesty though, these are the types of memories that make hunting great. They are as prized to me as the memories of bucks being taken or hunts spent with family. They are the tales that are told and the laughs that are shared around the fire at deer camp. They are the learning experiences that shape you and show you that you are never as polished as you think you are. They are the reminders to us that we are only one step away from adding another blooper to the list.
Once you get past the initial pain of your next blunder, take the time to laugh at yourself and take solace in the fact that you just created another life long memory out in the woods.
Take care, and thanks for reading!!!
Total Comments 2
Comments
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Good stuff. I actually went up in a tree after a porky one morning because my stand was in that tree and he went up first. He was not going to stand in the way of me hunting that morning. He climbed up about 20 feet higher than me and it was a standoff for the whole morning.Posted 08-23-2011 at 03:57 PM by Steve 
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nice post MM!
Posted 08-24-2011 at 07:11 AM by CowboyUp
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