Bluegill Bob
02-09-2005, 10:05 AM
New Education Policies
In response to President Bush's Federal "No Child Left Behind Act" ( NCLB),
it is proposed that students will have to pass a test to be promoted to the next
grade level.
In the hope that this proposal will be uniformly adopted by all of
the states as well as North Carolina, the new test will be called
the Federal Arithmetic and Reading Test, or FART.
All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will be
re-tested in Grades 3, 4, and 5 until they are capable of passing a
FART score of 80%. If a student does not successfully FART
by grade 5, that student shall be placed in a separate English
program known as the Special Mastery Elective for Learning
Language, or SMELL.
If, with this increased SMELL program, the student cannot pass the
required FART test, he or she can still graduate to middle school by
taking another one-semester course in Comprehensive Reading and
Arithmetic Preparation, or CRAP.
If by age fourteen the student cannot FART, SMELL, or CRAP, he
or she can earn promotion in an intensive one-week seminar known
as the Preparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted
Students, or PRUNES.
It is the opinion of the Department of Instruction for Public Schools (DIPS)
that an intensive week of PRUNES will enable any student to FART,
SMELL, or CRAP.
This revised provision of the student component of the House Bill 101
should help "clear the air" as part of the "No School Left Standing" Act.
In response to President Bush's Federal "No Child Left Behind Act" ( NCLB),
it is proposed that students will have to pass a test to be promoted to the next
grade level.
In the hope that this proposal will be uniformly adopted by all of
the states as well as North Carolina, the new test will be called
the Federal Arithmetic and Reading Test, or FART.
All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will be
re-tested in Grades 3, 4, and 5 until they are capable of passing a
FART score of 80%. If a student does not successfully FART
by grade 5, that student shall be placed in a separate English
program known as the Special Mastery Elective for Learning
Language, or SMELL.
If, with this increased SMELL program, the student cannot pass the
required FART test, he or she can still graduate to middle school by
taking another one-semester course in Comprehensive Reading and
Arithmetic Preparation, or CRAP.
If by age fourteen the student cannot FART, SMELL, or CRAP, he
or she can earn promotion in an intensive one-week seminar known
as the Preparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted
Students, or PRUNES.
It is the opinion of the Department of Instruction for Public Schools (DIPS)
that an intensive week of PRUNES will enable any student to FART,
SMELL, or CRAP.
This revised provision of the student component of the House Bill 101
should help "clear the air" as part of the "No School Left Standing" Act.