How do you explain "WHY"

[Steven Arend]

I’m sure that a lot of you go through this every year about this time. I know my wife and I do, the good oh “WHY” question. “Why do you have to go out and sit in the woods all the time?” It’s hard to explain to someone that does not get the rush or have the feel of Mother Nature in their bones as deep as we do. “WHY” we do these things.

How do you explain the joy you get waking up before the rest of the world only to climb up a tree an hour before dawn to watch the sun peek over the horizon. To have that screech owl come and land in the branch next to you every morning just before he goes to bed to say good morning. The feeling of your heart beating when you hear that twig snap. The blood rushing through your veins when you see something moving off in the distance. Or Motoring through the swamp hearing the whistling of wings as the ducks rise off the waters. Wondering if you are setting the dekes close enough to the blind, is my set up right, did I make the landing areas wide enough, wondering what the day will bring you.

This is also a time to renew friendships, get together with people that we have not seen all summer. A time for sons and fathers and even grandfather to get together and show (in our Macho male sick ways.) the love and respect we have toward each other. It’s a time to hear all the old stories form years past and to add and make new stories.

These Moments are for reflection. To look back at where your life has been and where you want your life to go. What goals have you achieved and what goals are you going to stride for. To look back on old memories and to make new memories to pass down. It’s also time for renewing one’s self.

How can you explain these things, these feelings, this way of life that many of us partake in every year.

Thanks for letting me vent fore awhile. Now all I need to do is figure out how to get this through to my wife.

Steve

[GVSUKUSH]

How do you explain (or plead) the need to be gone every fall weekend from September 1st untill Christmas? And how do you get away with it? I try to explain that my vice is fishing and hunting, I don't drink heavy, don't hang out at bars, I don't womanize (I'll turn my head to look, but I'll never touch ;) ) but the need for a few weekends away is always hard to sell. I guess they just don't get it Steve.

If anyone has answers to the Sportsman's conundrum, let me know as well :confused:

[Craig M]

Steve,

I think you did just that as your passion comes through in your post. I would print off the post and let whomever read it. If by chance they still don't understand, they never will.

[Garden Bay]

Steve,
I agree with Craig..you said it best yourself. My wife did that the first years we were married, but when my oldest son was about 5 and able to go with me to the duck blind or deer blind (yeah he was noisy then) she began to understand the father son bond and never said anything about it...in fact she would go out with us once in a while. Now after all these years (24 years 10 months and 26 days) the only words I hear is did you pack enough towels, shampoo, soap, clothes, etc. It's a time for all of us Dad, brothers, and sons to get together for that special time and she has grown to accept it, and even look forward to it.

[NorthJeff]

Good luck on that one, printing off that post of yours might actually help. I've talked to my wife quite a bit about it, and although I don't think she will ever fully understand, basically I think she realizes it's a way of life, it's part of life, part of me, part of my past, part of my future, a passion, a love, and it isn't going away. But the responsibility comes in how it is managed. Is it managed with only yourself in mind? or with the family and other responsibilities in mind? I think the more my wife sees how I work around the family to fit in hunting, and try and include our kids as much as possible, she sees that it is not just a selfish obsession, but a way of life I openly and actively encourage my family to be a part of at any moment that is possible.

It's simply a way of life, for both me and hopefully my family and I make every effort to insure my job, housing, and surroundings fit in with my passion and love for both family and hunting. Everything I do or am a part of is completed with the thought, "Is this activity worth taking time away from my family or hunting?". If the answer is "no", I probably don't participate. The only exception is religion/attending church on Sunday and of course most major holidays or birthdays, but really, if I want to get away with having a fall filled with hunting, my summers aren't filled with golf or softball, my winters aren't filled with bowling, and my Friday nights aren't spent at the bar with my buddies. It's not just about hunting season time management, but management of the time I spend throughout the entire year.

[Adam Waszak]

I’m sure that a lot of you go through this every year about this time. I know my wife and I do, the good oh “WHY” question. “Why do you have to go out and sit in the woods all the time?” It’s hard to explain to someone that does not get the rush or have the feel of Mother Nature in their bones as deep as we do. “WHY” we do these things.

How do you explain the joy you get waking up before the rest of the world only to climb up a tree an hour before dawn to watch the sun peek over the horizon. To have that screech owl come and land in the branch next to you every morning just before he goes to bed to say good morning. The feeling of your heart beating when you hear that twig snap. The blood rushing through your veins when you see something moving off in the distance. Or Motoring through the swamp hearing the whistling of wings as the ducks rise off the waters. Wondering if you are setting the dekes close enough to the blind, is my set up right, did I make the landing areas wide enough, wondering what the day will bring you.

This is also a time to renew friendships, get together with people that we have not seen all summer. A time for sons and fathers and even grandfather to get together and show (in our Macho male sick ways.) the love and respect we have toward each other. It’s a time to hear all the old stories form years past and to add and make new stories.

These Moments are for reflection. To look back at where your life has been and where you want your life to go. What goals have you achieved and what goals are you going to stride for. To look back on old memories and to make new memories to pass down. It’s also time for renewing one’s self.

How can you explain these things, these feelings, this way of life that many of us partake in every year.

Thanks for letting me vent fore awhile. Now all I need to do is figure out how to get this through to my wife.

Steve




Awesome post man you took me to the woods and the swamp in no time. My wife is probably like yours she gets mad but in the end when she sees me come home with a smile and a buck or a limit of pheasants or a trophy tom, she knows it is something that gets me going and she knows it is important but most of all I show her that the she and the kids are priority number one because like Jeff said I am at everything and I help with everything I don''t miss soccer games (damn things are always like 9:00am! too early to get in a few hours ahead of time :lol:) or anything else. Time management and give and take. I love my wife and I will tell her more and more in the upcoming months because I know that monday opener is going to piss her off :yikes:
Again great post man

AW

[1wildchild]

I don't have trouble with family but my friends and coworkers sure don't get it. Every Friday after work, I hop in my truck and drive 4 hours just to go to bed so that I can be up before sunrise. I have only one other female hunting friend, she gets it. At one point last year, after a really tough week at work, I explained to my friends that I go up north to adjust my attitude. It straightens me out and helps me keep my priorities in focus. When I return on Monday morning, I am refreshed and can deal with life inside a high school again. That was something the coworkers could get behind!

[FREEPOP]

Steve, I have said this to others' and most understand.

There are people that hunt, and there are hunters. The people that hunt may enjoy it immensely, but they can live without it. If you were to deny a true hunter his access to the wild, you might as well put him down. A true hunter, goes afield in the off season cause they need to. A true hunter is not complete without time in the woods, regardless if they got some spoils from the hunt, they are complete because they have hunted.

[davidshane]

Freepop,

Well said. Everyone who knows me knows that I am a hunter; not someone who hunts. The poeple that are close to me know that if I lost the ability to hunt, that a great piece of who I am would be lost with it.

My wife and I faced off on that battlefield long ago. I drew a hard line on the time that I would hunt (every weekend and three weeks a year). I also decided to put as mush energy into her needs during the remainder of the year as I did into the sport.

Gina decided that she still wanted to spend a life with me even if she had to share me with my passion for the woods. We will still have are bouts each year, but we get through them with little real damage.

Good luck Steven! Remember, to be good to the poeple you love you must first be good to yourself. An unhappy man will certainly make those around him unhappy too:lol:

[Randy Kidd]

My first wife and I fought the sportsmans wars on a continual basis, and although it was not the ultimate reason we are no longer married, it contributed to it more than a little. My current wife I made perfectly clear on our very first date who I was and that I was not going to change These are my words and I will quote, " I hunt every chance I get, which means it can be every weekend from September to Janurary with a week long trip in there somewhere, I fish in the spring and summer, Almost every weekend with a week long trip in there somewhere. I will not blow off important family functions to go hunting or fishing, neither will I give up a planned trip for a last minute something or other. I smoke cigarettes, I drink beer. This is who I am, I will not change. If this is a problem we will finish this date and move on. If you can understand this then we might have a chance. We have been together 8 years, She has never complained once about any of the things above. Now things I didn't mention on our first date she nags me about all the time :rant: Just kidding I got a great wife, She understands what the outdoors means to me just like I understand what the mall means to her. :lol:

[brdhntr]

snip-
I will quote, " I hunt every chance I get, which means it can be every weekend from September to Janurary with a week long trip in there somewhere, I fish in the spring and summer, Almost every weekend with a week long trip in there somewhere. I will not blow off important family functions to go hunting or fishing, neither will I give up a planned trip for a last minute something or other. -snip

Exactly what I did with my wife. After 5 years, she understands that I NEED to get out. In fact, I get so darn unsocial if I haven't been out in a week that she practically throws me out the door. Last year, she never even batted an eye when I left the house to pick up my new shotgun, even though it was the first time she had heard about it.

[safetreehunt]

You said it just fine STeve.

I guess I haven't had to worry about this with my own wife. She's not a hunter, but loves the outdoors. Still thiinks I'm nuts to sit in the cold for hours on end, but when I say I'm heading up north she just smiles and says have fun and drive careful. Then she curls up with a book and her puppy and enjoys things her own way. Never had a problem with this in 26 years of marriage.

[bucknduck]

My wife enjoys hunting but she does not consider herself to be a "hunter". I don't have this problem, but for your situations, I have to agree that the information that you posted will be enough to answer why.
If you have to, let her read your posts and the responses so that she can see that she is not the only one who wants to know why. The first time my wife asked why, I handed her a bow and she fell in love with shooting. Then I took her camping up north for the first time, and she fell in love with the outdoors. She put 2 and 2 together and the rest is history.

Rich

[Liv4Huntin']

Excellent posts !!

This is a question I have, through the years, been asked many times......"Why do you hunt"?..... and "You're a woman....why do you do a 'guys' thing like hunting"? Most guys understand after my explanations... some women never will... especially those non-hunting or anti-hunting females. If I put in into perspective that I choose to have a direct hand in putting quality, hormone-free food on the table, this can sometimes even work with anti-hunters. Those that have never experienced the beauty and peace of the outdoors, to 'do something' other than 'loud sports' outside -- well, sometimes they're difficult to get the picture.

Your posts about the sunrises, the quiet of the woods, the pristine beauty of that first morning after the snowfall, owls landing in your tree, watching wildlife and the world awake ----- all say 'it' with sincere, heartfelt passion.

Oh........ and as you can probably guess by my screen name, I am a hunter....because I MUST.

~ m ~

[drwink]

Well said Steve
My wife enjoy's the outdoors, she goes rustic camping, she will even hunt but not if she has to get up early ! Which is something I guess I have a hard time with sometimes.(How many hours of life does one miss sleeping) Even on weekends when I don't hunt of fish I'm up before sunrise, Just the fact of seeing the outdoors wake up is something I cherrish.
Like GVSUKush said, no bars, no cheating, if you want to know where I am you know.
Like Northjeff said, for me no Bowling, no organized sports at all really, I would rather be in the woods, in the middle of a switchgrass field, heck if its after dark and I have aboslutly nothing to do I'll be reading about it, Cleaning a gun, Planning a hunt or figuring out what I can do on my land to make it more attractive to wildlife.
I've been married for 12 years now, very rarely recieve any flack about it.
I think she understands, just doesn't feel my passion.

[Trushot_Archer]

Explain? EXPLAIN?!?

Try this..."Get yer butt in the Kitchen and make me a chicken Pot Pie!!" :yikes: :D :D :D

Yeah...RIGHT!

Excellent posts guys.

My wife doesn't really understand either. I''m at a disadvantage though...I only started 3 years ago when we moved back to Mi...we were already married 2 years :rolleyes:

Sometimes she really gets it and others she just feels abandoned.

It's hard to find the happy medium sometimes.

[Pinefarm]

It's as natural of an impulse as the need for food, water, sleep and sex. We're only fulfilling that natural impulse. Like other predator mammals, we have our highly defined eye's focused in the front of our head instead of on the side, like prey animals. Predators have eyes in front to focus on their prey and prey has the eye's set on the sides to detect danger from predators. We also have teeth designed for eating meat. If we were supposed to be metrosexual vegans, we'd have teeth like deer or cows.

[GVSUKUSH]

metrosexual vegans

That's great, does Baldwin have alot of those???? :lol:

[wildcoy73]

all i can say to you guys is i am sorry you must explain yourself to the wife. i must be blessed to not have this worry. all i need to say is i will be gone this weekend headded north and she knows i am going to my true home. my love of the water and the woods is strong and she will not stand in the way. she will scout with me and even sit in the blind or the river bank and never complain or say a word. she realizes this is my way to be with our lord and all of his creations

[Pinefarm]

Although my wife has no interest in hunting, she thinks it's completely natural for a manly man such as myself to want to hunt. :p And, the situation was clearly explained to her, endlessly. Plus I sometimes remind her that I could always be playing tavern sports like pool, darts or bowling. You know the ones, where all the women are at? She prefers me hanging out with a bunch of smelly guys at deer camp, drinking beer after the hunt in our long johns and face paint still on. The subtle reminder that a happy Bob is easier to live with than a bitter, resentful Bob doesn't hurt either. And if I get grief about time hunting, I would become bitter and resentful. :lol:

[58archer]

I liked that description too...truly from the soul. It made me think of once when I was sitting in my tree stand...the wind was blowing and I leaned my back against the tree as it rocked back and forth. I closed my eyes, and for a while I felt safe and comforted, like a child again in my mother's lap.

At first, my teenage son didn't understand why I had to "abandon" him to go hunting...tried to make me feel guilty...even though after working a full-time job, most of my time is spent with him at home. He's not a hunter, might never be...he's more into seeing the big city, not the big woods. I'm the opposite. But I'm hoping that someday, he will inherit my love of the outdoors. I try to get him out there with me on occasion, but it's usually a one-sided adventure.

I think my son is beginning to realize how important this is to me though. And at times, I think he's even a bit proud of me - even though he doesn't say so. I can tell. He's getting more supportive, talks about it with me more, even enjoys looking for deer and turkeys when we go for drives. He's a pretty good spotter, too! Deer camp and hunting has not been a tradition in my family, but maybe it's not to late to start.

(To Trushot Archer: You like living dangerously don't you......"Get yer butt in the Kitchen and make me a chicken Pot Pie!!"??? Better DUCK when you say that!!!)