IT pimp 2002
08-10-2004, 12:14 PM
: Michiganders
Jeff Foxworthy on Michigan
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by
drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there
all day hoping that the food will swim by,
you might live in Michigan
If you're proud that your region makes the national
news 96 nights each year because the town of Pelston
is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in
Michigan.
If your local Dairy Queen store is closed from
November through April,you might live in Michigan
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five
months out of the year, you might live in Michigan.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they
don't work there, you might live in Michigan.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around
the middle of his forehead, you might live in
Michigan.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
you might live in Michigan.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
you might live in Michigan.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with
someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in
Michigan.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Michigander WHEN:
1. "Vacation" means going up north past US-75 for the
weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more
than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same
day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during
a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events
(including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and
garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your
girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over
a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the
potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons; almost winter, winter,
still winter and road construction.
12. You can identify a southern, eastern, Indiananan,
Ohioan and Wisconsonian accent.
13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a
deer next to your blue spruce.
14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking
age.
15. Down South to you means Indiana
16. A brat (braht) is something you eat.
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new
pole shed.
18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to
frost.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your
car.
21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
22. You actually understand these jokes, and you
forward them to all myour Michigan friends
__________________________________
.
Jeff Foxworthy on Michigan
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by
drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there
all day hoping that the food will swim by,
you might live in Michigan
If you're proud that your region makes the national
news 96 nights each year because the town of Pelston
is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in
Michigan.
If your local Dairy Queen store is closed from
November through April,you might live in Michigan
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five
months out of the year, you might live in Michigan.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they
don't work there, you might live in Michigan.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around
the middle of his forehead, you might live in
Michigan.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
you might live in Michigan.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches,
you might live in Michigan.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with
someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in
Michigan.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Michigander WHEN:
1. "Vacation" means going up north past US-75 for the
weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more
than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same
day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during
a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events
(including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and
garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your
girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over
a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the
potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons; almost winter, winter,
still winter and road construction.
12. You can identify a southern, eastern, Indiananan,
Ohioan and Wisconsonian accent.
13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a
deer next to your blue spruce.
14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking
age.
15. Down South to you means Indiana
16. A brat (braht) is something you eat.
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new
pole shed.
18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.
19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to
frost.
20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your
car.
21. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
22. You actually understand these jokes, and you
forward them to all myour Michigan friends
__________________________________
.