FREEPOP
08-06-2004, 05:00 PM
MINNESOTA GENIE
Ole, Lena, and Sven were lost in the woods of Northern Minnesota and
were becoming desperate, having run out of food several days ago. It was
winter, the snow was deep, their situation was looking very bleak. When Ole
dug down into the snow to look for nuts, he found an oil lamp and upon
rubbing it to get the snow off, a genie came out. The genie says, "I am da
great genie of Nordern Minnesooota and I can grant each of you vun vish."
Ole says, "I vish I vas back on da farm." Poof, Ole was gone.
Lena quickly says, "I vish I vas back on da farm wit Ole." Poof, Lena was gone.
Sven was sitting there looking sad and the genie finally says, "Sven, vat is
your vish?"
Sven says, "Gee, I'm really lonely. I vish Ole and Lena were back here
vith me". "Poof"
BOAT FOR SALE
Sven was going for his morning walk one day when he walked past
Ole's house and saw a sign that said "Boat For Sale." This confused Sven
because he knew that Ole didn't own a boat, so he finally decided to go in
and ask Ole about it.
"Hey Ole," said Sven, "I noticed da sign in your yard dat says 'Boat For
Sale,' but ya don't even have a boat. All ya have is your old John Deere
tractor and combine."
Ole replied, "Yup, and dey're boat for sale."
THE DOCTOR
One day Ole goes in to see his doctor. Ole says, "Doc, I just
don't know vat to do. Lena and me, vell, our sex life just ain't going dat
vell." The doctor says, "Ole, all you need is some exercise. I want you
to walk ten miles every day. You give me a call in a week and let me know
how you're doing."
A week later the phone rings and the doctor answers it. A voice on the
other end says, "Doc, dis is Ole." The doctor says, "Hello Ole. Have you
been walking ten miles every day?"
Ole says, "Yes." The doctor asks, "And has your sex life improved?"
Ole replies,"Well, how da hell vould I know? I'm seventy miles from home!"
THE 911 CALL
Lena passed away and Ole called 911. The 911 operator told Ole that she
would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?," asked the
operator.
Ole replied, "At da end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause and finally Ole said, "How 'bout if I drag her over
to Oak Street and you pick her up der?"
Ole, Lena, and Sven were lost in the woods of Northern Minnesota and
were becoming desperate, having run out of food several days ago. It was
winter, the snow was deep, their situation was looking very bleak. When Ole
dug down into the snow to look for nuts, he found an oil lamp and upon
rubbing it to get the snow off, a genie came out. The genie says, "I am da
great genie of Nordern Minnesooota and I can grant each of you vun vish."
Ole says, "I vish I vas back on da farm." Poof, Ole was gone.
Lena quickly says, "I vish I vas back on da farm wit Ole." Poof, Lena was gone.
Sven was sitting there looking sad and the genie finally says, "Sven, vat is
your vish?"
Sven says, "Gee, I'm really lonely. I vish Ole and Lena were back here
vith me". "Poof"
BOAT FOR SALE
Sven was going for his morning walk one day when he walked past
Ole's house and saw a sign that said "Boat For Sale." This confused Sven
because he knew that Ole didn't own a boat, so he finally decided to go in
and ask Ole about it.
"Hey Ole," said Sven, "I noticed da sign in your yard dat says 'Boat For
Sale,' but ya don't even have a boat. All ya have is your old John Deere
tractor and combine."
Ole replied, "Yup, and dey're boat for sale."
THE DOCTOR
One day Ole goes in to see his doctor. Ole says, "Doc, I just
don't know vat to do. Lena and me, vell, our sex life just ain't going dat
vell." The doctor says, "Ole, all you need is some exercise. I want you
to walk ten miles every day. You give me a call in a week and let me know
how you're doing."
A week later the phone rings and the doctor answers it. A voice on the
other end says, "Doc, dis is Ole." The doctor says, "Hello Ole. Have you
been walking ten miles every day?"
Ole says, "Yes." The doctor asks, "And has your sex life improved?"
Ole replies,"Well, how da hell vould I know? I'm seventy miles from home!"
THE 911 CALL
Lena passed away and Ole called 911. The 911 operator told Ole that she
would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?," asked the
operator.
Ole replied, "At da end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause and finally Ole said, "How 'bout if I drag her over
to Oak Street and you pick her up der?"