rabbit whacker
09-03-2003, 10:21 PM
Sorry about the caps. Uncle Pete likes to use them. Enjoy!
PARABLE NUMBER 1:
A CROW SAT IN A TREE AND DID NOTHING ALL DAY. A RABBIT SAW THE CROW, AND ASKED HIM, "CAN I ALSO SIT LIKE YOU AND DO NOTHING ALL DAY LONG?" THE CROW ANSWERED: "SURE, WHY NOT." SO, THE RABBIT SAT ON THE GROUND BELOW THE CROW, AND RESTED. ALL OF A SUDDEN, A FOX APPEARED, JUMPED ON THE RABBIT AND ATE IT.
MANAGEMENT LESSON:
TO BE ABLE TO SIT AND DO NOTHING YOU MUST BE SITTING VERY, VERY HIGH UP.
PARABLE NUMBER 2:
A TURKEY WAS CHATTING WITH A BULL. "I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO SIT ON TOP OF THAT TREE," SIGHED THE TURKEY, "BUT I HAVEN'T GOT THE STRENGTH." "WELL, WHY DON'T YOU NIBBLE ON SOME OF MY DROPPINGS?" REPLIED THE BULL. "THEY'RE PACKED WITH NUTRIENTS THAT WILL GIVE YOU ENERGY." THE TURKEY PECKED AT A LUMP OF DUNG AND FOUND THAT IT REALLY DID GIVE HIM ENERGY, AND HE SUCCESSFULLY REACHED THE FIRST BRANCH OF THE TREE. THE NEXT DAY, AFTER EATING MORE DUNG, HE REACHED THE SECOND BRANCH. FINALLY ON THE FOURTH DAY, HE PROUDLY PERCHED AT THE TOP OF THE TREE, WHERE HE WAS
SPOTTED BY A FARMER, WHO SHOT HIM AND COOKED HIM FOR SUNDAY DINNER.
MANAGEMENT LESSON:
BULLCRAP MAY GET YOU TO THE TOP, BUT IT WON'T KEEP YOU THERE.
PARABLE NUMBER 3:
A LITTLE BIRD WAS FLYING SOUTH FOR THE WINTER. IT WAS SO COLD, THE BIRD FROZE AND FELL TO THE GROUND IN A LARGE FIELD. WHILE IT WAS LYING THERE, A COW CAME BY AND DROPPED SOME DUNG ON IT. AS THE FROZEN BIRD LAY THERE INSIDE A COW PLOP, THE STEAMING DUNG ACTUALLY THAWED HIM OUT. HE GREW WARM AND HAPPY, AND BEGAN TO SING FOR JOY. A PASSING CAT HEARD THE BIRD SINGING AND CAME TO INVESTIGATE. FOLLOWING THE SOUND, THE CAT DISCOVERED THE BIRD UNDER THE PILE OF COW DUNG, PROMPTLY DUG HIM OUT AND ATE HIM.
MANAGEMENT LESSONS:
1) NOT EVERYONE WHO DROPS CRAP ON YOU IS YOUR ENEMY.
2) NOT EVERYONE WHO GETS YOU OUT OF CRAP IS YOUR FRIEND.
3) IF YOU'RE IN DEEP CRAP BUT YOU'RE WARM AND HAPPY, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
PARABLE NUMBER 4:
THE BOY RODE ON THE DONKEY AND THE OLD MAN WALKED. AS THEY WENT ALONG, SOME PEOPLE REMARKED "IT WAS A SHAME THE OLD MAN WAS WALKING AND THE BOY WAS RIDING". THE MAN AND BOY THOUGHT MAYBE THE CRITICS WERE RIGHT, SO THEY TRADED PLACES. LATER, THEY PASSED SOME PEOPLE WHO SAID, "WHAT A SHAME, HE MAKES THAT LITTLE BOY WALK." THEY DECIDED THEY BOTH WOULD BOTH WALK. THEN THEY PASSED SOME MORE PEOPLE WHO THOUGHT THEY WERE STUPID TO WALK
WHEN THEY HAD A DECENT DONKEY TO RIDE, SO THEY BOTH RODE THE DONKEY. FINALLY, THEY PASSED SOME PEOPLE WHO SHAMED THEM, SAYING "HOW AWFUL TO PUT SUCH A HEAVY LOAD ON A POOR LITTLE DONKEY". THE BOY AND MAN REALIZED THAT THOSE FOLKS WERE PROBABLY RIGHT TOO, SO THEY DECIDED TO CARRY THE DONKEY. AS THEY CROSSED A BRIDGE, THEY LOST THEIR GRIP ON THE ANIMAL AND HE FELL INTO THE RIVER AND DROWNED.
MANAGEMENT LESSON:
IF YOU TRY TO PLEASE EVERYONE, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY LOSE YOUR ASS.
PARABLE NUMBER 1:
A CROW SAT IN A TREE AND DID NOTHING ALL DAY. A RABBIT SAW THE CROW, AND ASKED HIM, "CAN I ALSO SIT LIKE YOU AND DO NOTHING ALL DAY LONG?" THE CROW ANSWERED: "SURE, WHY NOT." SO, THE RABBIT SAT ON THE GROUND BELOW THE CROW, AND RESTED. ALL OF A SUDDEN, A FOX APPEARED, JUMPED ON THE RABBIT AND ATE IT.
MANAGEMENT LESSON:
TO BE ABLE TO SIT AND DO NOTHING YOU MUST BE SITTING VERY, VERY HIGH UP.
PARABLE NUMBER 2:
A TURKEY WAS CHATTING WITH A BULL. "I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO SIT ON TOP OF THAT TREE," SIGHED THE TURKEY, "BUT I HAVEN'T GOT THE STRENGTH." "WELL, WHY DON'T YOU NIBBLE ON SOME OF MY DROPPINGS?" REPLIED THE BULL. "THEY'RE PACKED WITH NUTRIENTS THAT WILL GIVE YOU ENERGY." THE TURKEY PECKED AT A LUMP OF DUNG AND FOUND THAT IT REALLY DID GIVE HIM ENERGY, AND HE SUCCESSFULLY REACHED THE FIRST BRANCH OF THE TREE. THE NEXT DAY, AFTER EATING MORE DUNG, HE REACHED THE SECOND BRANCH. FINALLY ON THE FOURTH DAY, HE PROUDLY PERCHED AT THE TOP OF THE TREE, WHERE HE WAS
SPOTTED BY A FARMER, WHO SHOT HIM AND COOKED HIM FOR SUNDAY DINNER.
MANAGEMENT LESSON:
BULLCRAP MAY GET YOU TO THE TOP, BUT IT WON'T KEEP YOU THERE.
PARABLE NUMBER 3:
A LITTLE BIRD WAS FLYING SOUTH FOR THE WINTER. IT WAS SO COLD, THE BIRD FROZE AND FELL TO THE GROUND IN A LARGE FIELD. WHILE IT WAS LYING THERE, A COW CAME BY AND DROPPED SOME DUNG ON IT. AS THE FROZEN BIRD LAY THERE INSIDE A COW PLOP, THE STEAMING DUNG ACTUALLY THAWED HIM OUT. HE GREW WARM AND HAPPY, AND BEGAN TO SING FOR JOY. A PASSING CAT HEARD THE BIRD SINGING AND CAME TO INVESTIGATE. FOLLOWING THE SOUND, THE CAT DISCOVERED THE BIRD UNDER THE PILE OF COW DUNG, PROMPTLY DUG HIM OUT AND ATE HIM.
MANAGEMENT LESSONS:
1) NOT EVERYONE WHO DROPS CRAP ON YOU IS YOUR ENEMY.
2) NOT EVERYONE WHO GETS YOU OUT OF CRAP IS YOUR FRIEND.
3) IF YOU'RE IN DEEP CRAP BUT YOU'RE WARM AND HAPPY, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
PARABLE NUMBER 4:
THE BOY RODE ON THE DONKEY AND THE OLD MAN WALKED. AS THEY WENT ALONG, SOME PEOPLE REMARKED "IT WAS A SHAME THE OLD MAN WAS WALKING AND THE BOY WAS RIDING". THE MAN AND BOY THOUGHT MAYBE THE CRITICS WERE RIGHT, SO THEY TRADED PLACES. LATER, THEY PASSED SOME PEOPLE WHO SAID, "WHAT A SHAME, HE MAKES THAT LITTLE BOY WALK." THEY DECIDED THEY BOTH WOULD BOTH WALK. THEN THEY PASSED SOME MORE PEOPLE WHO THOUGHT THEY WERE STUPID TO WALK
WHEN THEY HAD A DECENT DONKEY TO RIDE, SO THEY BOTH RODE THE DONKEY. FINALLY, THEY PASSED SOME PEOPLE WHO SHAMED THEM, SAYING "HOW AWFUL TO PUT SUCH A HEAVY LOAD ON A POOR LITTLE DONKEY". THE BOY AND MAN REALIZED THAT THOSE FOLKS WERE PROBABLY RIGHT TOO, SO THEY DECIDED TO CARRY THE DONKEY. AS THEY CROSSED A BRIDGE, THEY LOST THEIR GRIP ON THE ANIMAL AND HE FELL INTO THE RIVER AND DROWNED.
MANAGEMENT LESSON:
IF YOU TRY TO PLEASE EVERYONE, YOU WILL EVENTUALLY LOSE YOUR ASS.