fishwitch44
08-22-2003, 12:37 PM
Why They Teach Math in School (Written By A Very Wise Man)
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut
right in front of a pickup truck. The guy had to drive on to the
shoulder to avoid hitting the woman.
This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his
window and "flipped" the woman off.
"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself.
I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female
does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:
I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
That's 96 miles each day.
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure
I pass at least another 4000 cars.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every
day.
Statistically, females drive half of these.
That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as
dissatisfying
or unrewarding.
That's 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have
seriously considered suicide or homicide.
That's 98.
And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.
That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry
weapons, and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female
that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has
seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
Flip one off? ... I think not!
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut
right in front of a pickup truck. The guy had to drive on to the
shoulder to avoid hitting the woman.
This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his
window and "flipped" the woman off.
"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself.
I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female
does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:
I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.
That's 96 miles each day.
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure
I pass at least another 4000 cars.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every
day.
Statistically, females drive half of these.
That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as
dissatisfying
or unrewarding.
That's 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have
seriously considered suicide or homicide.
That's 98.
And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.
That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry
weapons, and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female
that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has
seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
Flip one off? ... I think not!