thousandcasts
01-24-2003, 04:25 PM
This is hilarious! On my best day, I couldn’t come up with anything this funny…the only thing I changed were the names of the people involved.
From the Arkansas Democrat Gazette:
Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup
Truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on
State Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff County deputy
Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight
Monday. Cletus Johnson, 33, of Des Arc and Clem
Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in serious condition at
Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were
returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip.
On an overcast Sunday night, Cletus's pick-up truck headlights
malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the
older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not
available, Clem noticed that the 22-caliber bullet from
his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the
steering wheel column. After inserting the bullet, the headlights again
began to operate properly and the two men proceeded toward the
White River Bridge.
After traveling about 20 miles and Just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Cletus in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply right exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Cletus suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Clem sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and
released.
"Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Cletus shot
his balls off or we might both be dead" stated Clem.
"I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the
world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those
two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder.
Upon being notified of the wreck, ********, Cletus’s wife,
asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get
them from the truck. (Way to go, ********.)
From the Arkansas Democrat Gazette:
Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup
Truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on
State Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff County deputy
Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight
Monday. Cletus Johnson, 33, of Des Arc and Clem
Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in serious condition at
Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were
returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip.
On an overcast Sunday night, Cletus's pick-up truck headlights
malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the
older model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not
available, Clem noticed that the 22-caliber bullet from
his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the
steering wheel column. After inserting the bullet, the headlights again
began to operate properly and the two men proceeded toward the
White River Bridge.
After traveling about 20 miles and Just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Cletus in the right testicle. The vehicle swerved sharply right exiting the pavement and striking a tree. Cletus suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Clem sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and
released.
"Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Cletus shot
his balls off or we might both be dead" stated Clem.
"I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the
world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those
two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder.
Upon being notified of the wreck, ********, Cletus’s wife,
asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get
them from the truck. (Way to go, ********.)