Ozzman
10-12-2007, 02:14 PM
For everyone who has ever had an evaluation, just remember, it could have been worse. These are actual quotes taken from Federal Government performance evaluations.
Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and started to dig
I would not allow this employee to breed
This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more a definite wont be.
Works well under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap
When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet
This young lady has delusions of adequacy
He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them
This employee is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot
This employee should go far, and the sooner the better
Got a full 6 pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together
A gross ignoramus—144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus
He doesn’t have an ulcer, but he is a carrier
I would like to go hunting with him sometime
He’s been working with glue too much
He would argue with a signpost
He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room
When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell
If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one
A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on
A prime candidate for natural de-selection
Donated his brain to science before he was done using it
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming
He’s got two brain cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it
If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week
If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled
Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead
Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn’t looking.
Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and started to dig
I would not allow this employee to breed
This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more a definite wont be.
Works well under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap
When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet
This young lady has delusions of adequacy
He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them
This employee is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot
This employee should go far, and the sooner the better
Got a full 6 pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together
A gross ignoramus—144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus
He doesn’t have an ulcer, but he is a carrier
I would like to go hunting with him sometime
He’s been working with glue too much
He would argue with a signpost
He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room
When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell
If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one
A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on
A prime candidate for natural de-selection
Donated his brain to science before he was done using it
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming
He’s got two brain cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it
If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week
If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean
Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled
Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead
Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn’t looking.