Overdew
11-16-2006, 08:34 PM
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says,
"Wanna
hear a Buckeye joke?"
The guy replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should
know
something. I am 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I am an Ohio State Graduate.
The
guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and he is an Ohio State
Graduate.
The guy right next to him is 6'5", 250 lbs. and he is also an Ohio State
Graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?" The first guy
says,
"No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was reported that the Ohio Football Coach Jim Tressel will
only
be dressing 20 players for the Michigan game ...the rest of the players
will
have to dress themselves!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear that the Ohio State University library burned to
the
ground? All five books in the library were completely destroyed. The
football team is really upset by the fire; they hadn't colored in two of
the
books yet!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the only sign of intelligent life in Columbus? Ann Arbor:
187 Miles
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does the average Ohio State University student get on his
SAT?
Drool.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you get an Ohio State graduate off your front porch? Pay
him
for the pizza!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Four college Alumni were climbing a mountain one day: An OSU
grad, a
Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed
to
be the most loyal fan of their Alma mater. As they climbed higher, they
argued as to which of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to
argue all the way to the top when the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off
the
mountainside shouting, "This is for the Fighting Irish!" Not wanting to
be
outdone, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming,
"This is for the Nittany Lions!" Seeing this, the Michigan grad walked
over
and shouted, "This is for the Wolverines!" and pushed the Ohio State
grad
off the mountain!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What did the OSU grad say to the Michigan grad? "Welcome to
McDonalds. May I take your order, please?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of
work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and smile, gave him
a
broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the store." "But, I'm
an
OSU graduate," the young man replied indignantly, "I even played
football
there!" "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here,
give
me the broom; I'd better show you how."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Ohio State football players were hootin' and hollerin' while
partying on campus when a bartender asked them why they were
celebrating.
The smart one said proudly that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle
and
it only took them two months. "Two months?!" exclaimed the bartender.
The
Buckeye proudly replied, "Yeah, the box said 4-6 years!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Buckeye football player was almost killed today in a tragic
horseback-riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly
trampled
to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out an unplugged the
horse just in time.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little boy and his mother were walking through an Ohio
cemetery
when they came upon a headstone that read: "Here lies an OSU graduate
and a
good man." The little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why did they bury
two
people in there?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach
talking about the rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan.
As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the sand.
Upon
closer inspection it turns out to be a genie's lamp. "Who disturbs me?"
asked the genie. Jim and Lloyd both say they did. "You will each get one
wish," said the genie. Jim offers to go first. "I want an impenetrable
wall
built around the entire state of Ohio so that none of those stupid
Michiganians can ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as
it is
high and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally
have
our peace!" The genie grants the wish to Jim and his is instantly
whisked
away to his new paradise. The genie now tells Lloyd he'll grant him one
wish. Lloyd says, "Fill it up with water."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is ice no longer available at Ohio State football games?
Because
the senior who knew the recipe finally graduated!
What are the three longest years of a Ohio State football
player's
life? His freshman year.
"Wanna
hear a Buckeye joke?"
The guy replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should
know
something. I am 6' tall, 200 lbs. and I am an Ohio State Graduate.
The
guy sitting next to me is 6'2", 225 lbs. and he is an Ohio State
Graduate.
The guy right next to him is 6'5", 250 lbs. and he is also an Ohio State
Graduate. Now, you still wanna tell me that joke?" The first guy
says,
"No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was reported that the Ohio Football Coach Jim Tressel will
only
be dressing 20 players for the Michigan game ...the rest of the players
will
have to dress themselves!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Did you hear that the Ohio State University library burned to
the
ground? All five books in the library were completely destroyed. The
football team is really upset by the fire; they hadn't colored in two of
the
books yet!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the only sign of intelligent life in Columbus? Ann Arbor:
187 Miles
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does the average Ohio State University student get on his
SAT?
Drool.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you get an Ohio State graduate off your front porch? Pay
him
for the pizza!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Four college Alumni were climbing a mountain one day: An OSU
grad, a
Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed
to
be the most loyal fan of their Alma mater. As they climbed higher, they
argued as to which of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to
argue all the way to the top when the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off
the
mountainside shouting, "This is for the Fighting Irish!" Not wanting to
be
outdone, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming,
"This is for the Nittany Lions!" Seeing this, the Michigan grad walked
over
and shouted, "This is for the Wolverines!" and pushed the Ohio State
grad
off the mountain!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
What did the OSU grad say to the Michigan grad? "Welcome to
McDonalds. May I take your order, please?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of
work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and smile, gave him
a
broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the store." "But, I'm
an
OSU graduate," the young man replied indignantly, "I even played
football
there!" "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here,
give
me the broom; I'd better show you how."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Ohio State football players were hootin' and hollerin' while
partying on campus when a bartender asked them why they were
celebrating.
The smart one said proudly that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle
and
it only took them two months. "Two months?!" exclaimed the bartender.
The
Buckeye proudly replied, "Yeah, the box said 4-6 years!"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Buckeye football player was almost killed today in a tragic
horseback-riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly
trampled
to death. Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out an unplugged the
horse just in time.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little boy and his mother were walking through an Ohio
cemetery
when they came upon a headstone that read: "Here lies an OSU graduate
and a
good man." The little boy asked his mother, "Mommy, why did they bury
two
people in there?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Coaches Jim Tressel and Lloyd Carr are walking down the beach
talking about the rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan.
As they are walking, Lloyd trips over something in the sand.
Upon
closer inspection it turns out to be a genie's lamp. "Who disturbs me?"
asked the genie. Jim and Lloyd both say they did. "You will each get one
wish," said the genie. Jim offers to go first. "I want an impenetrable
wall
built around the entire state of Ohio so that none of those stupid
Michiganians can ever get in. I want it as far down into the ground as
it is
high and I want it to be completely sealed in so that we can finally
have
our peace!" The genie grants the wish to Jim and his is instantly
whisked
away to his new paradise. The genie now tells Lloyd he'll grant him one
wish. Lloyd says, "Fill it up with water."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is ice no longer available at Ohio State football games?
Because
the senior who knew the recipe finally graduated!
What are the three longest years of a Ohio State football
player's
life? His freshman year.