The Sermon

[eyecatcher]

Patrick O'Leary showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. O'Leary had never been seen in church in his adult life. After Mass, the priest caught O'Leary and said, "Mr. O'Leary, I am so glad you decided to come to Mass. What made you come?"

O'Leary said, "I've got to be honest with you, Father. A while back, I misplaced me cap. I really, really love that cap. I knew that Donald Shaunessy had one just like mine, and I knew that Shaunessy came to church every Sunday. I also knew that Shaunessy had to take off his cap during Mass, and I figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal Shaunessy's cap."

The priest said, "Well, Mr. O'Leary, I notice that you didn't steal Mr. Shaunessy's cap. What changed your mind?"

O'Leary said "Well, after I heard your sermon on the Ten Commandments, I decided that I didn't need to steal Shaunessy's cap."

The priest gave O'Leary a big smile and said, "Ah, after I talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' you decided you would rather do without your cap than burn in Hell, right?"

O'Leary shook his head and said, "No, Father. After you talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' I remembered where I left me cap."

[schopie4]

:lol:

[DaveW731]

A Penticostal Minister in rural Tennessee, "Pastor Bill" was loved by his congregation, to the extent that they bought him a brand new bicycle. Given how dirt poor the folks in that neck of the woods are, it was really quite a gift. Anyway, Pastor Bill could be seen proudly riding his bicycle every day, doing the Lord's work. Then, one Sunday, he was seen walking to service. "Pastor Bill", he was asked "Where is your bicycle?" Pastor Bill sadly said that he had lost it somewhere, but was trusting in the Lord to get it back and asked for prayers. The church service started and the singing was absolutely inspired! Then, Pastor Bill started one of his patented hellfire and brimstone sermons, expounding upon the ten commandments. After he was done, he looked unusually peaceful and full of the Joy of the Lord. The next morning, he was seen on his bicycle once again. "Pastor Bill!", one of his flock exclaimed, "When did you get your bicycle back?" Pastor Bill replied, "Well, when I was preachin' yesterday, and got to 'Thou shalt not commit adultery', all of a sudden, THE LORD SHOWED ME WHERE I LEFT MY BICYCLE!"