Who wants to make some money?

[dtg]

I'm unaware of any product that may exist for my and I'm sure many other peoples problem that I'm about to disclose. I figured it would probably be more suitable in the comedy section, even though I'm DEAD serious about it. Note to the Moderators, feel feel to move this where ever it would be more suitable.

How many times have you felt Mother Nature calling and you know that you're going to be spending a fair amount of time anwering that call? So you grab the latest Sports Illustrated, Consumers Reports, Maxim, news paper, whatever will last at least the appropiate amount of time until the transaction is complete. As you sit there reading up on your latest team, best product, oogling the "extra" pictures of the latest cover girl, or reading the business secton and as you wrap up that much needed paperwork and bid a fond fairwell to your multi-medium, textured masterpiece , you try to stand up and suddenly realize that you've lost all feeling and control in your lower extremities. So you make your best effort to balance yourself on your wobbly parapalegic-like legs and walk over to the sink in a zig zag pattern, where you can finally grab on to something to keep yourself from toppling over. You wash your hands(if you don't, you're a fiflthy, dirty Bas^&!d and I pray I never shake hands with you) and as you do so, you get that faux feeling of security back into your legs. Then as you take that first step to get out of the death gripping aroma filled room, you're legs slip out of remission and it's even worse. They feel numb, yet almost pleasantly tingly all at the same time. You bump into the walls like some drunk at closing time, stub your toe, but don't realize it because your totally numb and find the closest apparatus to sit in or on until you get the feeling back into your legs and feel that previous stub you would have been totally unaware of, if it weren't for that thunderous boom that only a hollowed out cabinet makes when something semi-soft and dull is driven into the side of it with great force.

So my question is this, if we can make dining room/office chairs, even the ones that are constructed of unpadded wood, comfortable enough to sit in all day and never experience this dilema, then why can't someone come up with a toilet/toilet seat that you can sit on for at least 15 minutes and walk away from with some shred of dignity?:sad:

And yes, the closest thing for me to sit in is my computer desk chair and yes, I typed this out, while waiting to regain the use of my legs.:smile-mad

[Dv8oR]

If nothing else, for padding purposes.....:lol:

[Backwoods-Savage]

dtg: Now you understand a little about what us Post-Polio people have gone through for years and it isn't always from sitting on the throne.

However, I'd bet you don't have that problem when you go in the woods! Perhaps we're onto something here?! Leave the warmth of the indoor throne and head out to the nearest tree. At least you'd give the neighbors something else to discuss.

[Backwoods-Savage]

They passed an ordinance in the town,
They said we’d have to tear it down,
That little brown shack out back, so dear to me;
Though the Health Department said
Its day was over and dead,
It will stand forever in my memory.

Chorus
Don’t let ‘em tear that little brown building down,
Don’t let ‘em tear that little brown building down,
Don’t let ‘em tear that dear old building down,
For there’s not another like it, in the country or the town.

Well, it was not so long ago,
That I went tripping through the snow,
Out to that house, behind my old hound dog;
There I’d set me down to rest,
Like a snowbird on her nest,
And read the Sears and Roebuck catalog.

I would hum a happy tune,
Peeping through the quarter-Moon,
Just like my daddy’s kin had done before;
It was in that quiet spot,
That daily cares could be forgot...
It gave the same relief to rich and poor.

Chorus
Don’t let ‘em tear that little brown building down,
Don’t let ‘em tear that little brown building down,
Don’t let ‘em tear that dear old building down,
For there’s not another like it, in the country or the town.

Now, it was not a castle fair,
But I could build my future there,
And build my castles to the yellow jacket’s drone:
I could orbit round the Sun,
Fight with General Washington,
Or be a King upon his golden throne.

It wasn’t fancy built at all,
It had newspapers on the wall,
It was air-conditioned in the wintertime;
It was just a humble hut,
But its door was never shut,
And a man could get inside without a dime.

Don’t let ‘em tear that little brown building down,
Don’t let ‘em tear that little brown building down,
Don’t let ‘em tear that precious building down,
For there’s not another like it, in the country or the town.