Frozenfish
10-19-2005, 08:00 AM
> >Onions and Christmas Trees
> >
> >A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many
> >kinds of boobies are there?
> >
> >The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
> >breasts. In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and
> >firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
> >hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
> >
> >"Onions?"
> >
> >"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
> >
> >This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mom, how
many
> >kinds of 'willies' are there?"
> >
> >The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through
> >three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and
> >hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable.
> >After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
> >
> >"A Christmas tree?"
> >
> >"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."
> >
> >A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, "Dad, how many
> >kinds of boobies are there?
> >
> >The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, there's three kinds of
> >breasts. In her twenties, a women's breasts are like melons, round and
> >firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but
> >hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions."
> >
> >"Onions?"
> >
> >"Yes, you see them and they make you cry."
> >
> >This infuriated his wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mom, how
many
> >kinds of 'willies' are there?"
> >
> >The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, "Well dear, a man goes through
> >three phases. In his twenties, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and
> >hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable.
> >After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
> >
> >"A Christmas tree?"
> >
> >"Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only."