ccavacini
06-12-2005, 12:49 PM
Women's English vs. Men's English
>
>WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
>Yes = No
>No = Yes
>Maybe = No
>I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
>We need = I want
>It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
>Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
>We need to talk = I need to complain
>Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
>I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
>You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
>You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about??
>Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
>Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
>How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going
>to like
>I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
>Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
>You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
>Are you listening to me??
>
>MEN'S ENGLISH:
>I'm hungry = I'm hungry
>I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
>I'm tired = I'm tired
>Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
>Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
>Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
>May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
>Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
>You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
>What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
>I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
>I love you = Let's have sex now
>I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
>Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person
>and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
>
>WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
>Yes = No
>No = Yes
>Maybe = No
>I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
>We need = I want
>It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
>Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
>We need to talk = I need to complain
>Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to
>I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
>You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
>You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about??
>Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
>Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
>How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going
>to like
>I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
>Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
>You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
>Are you listening to me??
>
>MEN'S ENGLISH:
>I'm hungry = I'm hungry
>I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
>I'm tired = I'm tired
>Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
>Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
>Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
>May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
>Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
>You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
>What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
>I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
>I love you = Let's have sex now
>I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
>Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person
>and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me